What is lacking and dreams of the future

Oh dear ones, homelessness is really getting old by now.
I miss how my life used to be, only two months ago.
The days where I would wake up on Ronalds right side.
We would cook breakfasts for eachother, shower together, our bodies intertwined all day long.
The other week, I was at a party when a boy told me, that Allah never gives us more then we can handle.
Now, this might just be the biggest lie I've heard, in my entire life! You can ofcourse replace Allah with the name god, life or destiny. Nonë of it will change the fact that this mess is too much for anyone to handle.
I do understand, that you might be reading this and thinking that I'm an oversharing bastard, who should focus on better things in life and stop this whining.
But please, understand that there is a part of me that is lacking.
I wake up everyday with my bed empty, as a reminder of that he's not there. Then the rest of my day is filled with thoughts about him, the feeling of loneliness and small reminders of his absence.
There are small things that helps though; getting drunk as a cucumber, masturbating for hours, blow, sleeping the time away and pretending to be together over skype.
Please, note that I will not be well untill Ronald is back in Scandinavia.
Here is one of my tricks to make everything feel worse: Listen to the music we use to make love, hug for hours and do all kind of things to.

The Years (Full EP Stream) from Memoryhouse on Vimeo.

Hopefully, these feelings of apathy for the world around me and the greif over my present life, will all be over in some months. I'm putting most of the things in my life at stake and hope that my actions in the near future, will put an end to this.